Defining What You Need for Success (Organize Your Overwhelm Part 4) | #23

Defining What You Need for Success
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I'm continuing my series on goal setting by talking about success, how to define what you want, and how to figure out what you need to get the success you crave.

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Different ways to define success

Success can mean different things to different people and it can also mean different things just based on the project that you're working on, even if you're an author. Different authors define success differently for each book that they're doing, for each writing session that they're doing. There are different ways to define success for everything that you do, whether it's something big like finishing a book or whether it's something small, like cleaning up your desk. So we perceive success differently depending on the project that we're working on, depending on the situation that we're in.

Think back to three recent projects that you weren't able to finish and let's start thinking about the reasons why. Was it that you didn't budget enough time to complete those projects? Was it that you didn't like the task at all so you purposely or maybe unintentionally didn't budget enough time for it? Or did you just underestimate the time it might take to do it? Were you afraid to finish the project? Maybe you were afraid to even start it? If you're writing your first book, maybe you're afraid to put those first words down on paper, or maybe you're afraid to put those last words down on paper. Did someone give you negative feedback or negative support that kept you from moving forward and finishing it? Maybe you're self-sabotaging yourself without realizing it?

Do you have a clear idea of what success looks like for those projects or maybe any other projects that you might have? If you're telling yourself you don't have time to do this project, that means it is not a priority for you and you're not motivated to finish it. Success is different for everybody, so make sure you're defining success on your terms and not anybody else's.

The one question you need to ask yourself

One of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is what do we want? And when you ask yourself this question, use your own name. So for me, I would say, what does Mehvish want? What does Mehvish want from this project? What does success for this project look like, Mehvish. Ask yourself these questions and be sure to use your name because your brain starts thinking about things a little bit differently when you use your own name versus when you just say, 'What do I want from this project? What do I see a success for this project?'.

The Be Do Have Method

The Be Do Have Method is a different way of thinking about success and howt to visualize what you really want. It's been shared in The Master Key System by Charles Haanel, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. Brooklyn 99 star Terry Crews also spoke it to Tim Ferriss on his podcast (it's around the 44:09 minute mark). There's also an article on LinkedIn by Jaemin Frazer that has a slightly different take on it.

BE - Who do I need to be in order to have the success I want?

For example, if you want to become a sustainable full time author, writing one book a year may not make that happen. So maybe that means you need to become someone who writes more or becomes much more well-versed in online marketing and online ads in order to maximize the one book a year you are writing.

DO - what do you need to do or what do you want to do in the future?

If you want to become someone who writes more, what do you need to do in order to make that happen? Do you budget twice as much time to writing? Do you create a dedicated workspace in your home so that you can write whenever creativity strikes you?

HAVE - What do you need to have or what do you want to have?

Maybe to budget an extra hour of writing. You need to give up 30 minutes of social media time and another 30 minutes of, say, cooking time so that means you order in one day a week. Maybe to create a dedicated workspace you need to buy a desk or even just a lap desk that you can use in your favorite chair.

you need to visualize yourself as the person you want to be

In order to really think about success - and this is what really changed the game for me - is that I really started imagining what kind of person do I really want to BE? What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of author do I want to be?

My goal is to become a sustainable, full time author, so I need to visualize myself as that person. What does a full-time author do? What do they have? They have their finances in order, a savings, retirement, and investment plan, they have independent health and other benefits, and they have multiple income streams. They do consistent marketing and engagement on social media, and a lot of other things. In order to become financially independent enough to be a full-time author, I need to think and learn about all of those things and visualize myself as someone who has more money, who is well-versed on all things financial, and a host of other skills and tactics.

So this Be Do Have method can be a really great way to think about what you really see and what you really want a success, and then also visualize how to get there. Think about what do you need to do in order to become that person and what else do you need to have in order to become that person.

Now I want to hear from you: join our podcast community on Facebook or comment below and let me know: How can you use the Be Do Have method to help you?

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****TRANSCRIPT*****

[00:00:00] Today, I'm sharing how to define what you need for success via the Be Do Have method. This is part four of my series on goal setting and how it can help you organize the overwhelm of your life and set you up for success at any time of the year, so please keep listening.

[00:00:38] You may write alone, but you are not alone. Inside the Writer's Soul focuses on how personal experiences can inform your writing and help you speak from the soul to really connect with readers and other authors as well. Your writer's soul doesn't need to take the writing and publishing journey alone. Join me, your host M. Khan, and let's move forward together.

[00:00:40] Hello and welcome! Today we're going to be talking about different ways to define success and I'm going to give you a mindset trick that I've learned, which is the Be Do Have method to help you define what success looks like and figure out what you need in order to achieve that success. Success can mean different things to different people and it can also mean different things just based on the project that you're working on, even if you're an author. Different authors define success differently for each book that they're doing, for each writing session that they're doing. There are different ways to define success for everything that you do, whether it's something big like finishing a book or whether it's something small, like cleaning up your desk. Now everybody has their own workspace, but maybe to you, cleaning up your desk doesn't mean that you don't have maybe Post-its on the table or you don't have some clutter here or some clutter there, because to you that clutter is helpful and it makes sense. Everybody organizes things just a little bit differently and so that's your organizational system. But to somebody else, success might look like a completely clear desk: you only have your keyboard, you only have your monito,r or you only have your laptop and that's it. You don't really have any extra papers, any extra Post-its. You don't have anything extra lying around. So just as we perceive time differently, which is something I spoke about earlier on in this goal setting series, we also perceive success differently depending on the project that we're working on, depending on the situation that we're in.

[00:02:10] So think back to three recent projects that you weren't able to finish and let's start thinking about the reasons why. Was it that you didn't budget enough time to complete those projects? Was it that you didn't like the task at all so you purposely or maybe unintentionally didn't budget enough time for it? Or did you just underestimate the time it might take to do it? Were you afraid to finish the project? Maybe you were afraid to even start it? If you're writing your first book, maybe you're afraid to put those first words down on paper, or maybe you're afraid to put those last words down on paper. Did someone give you negative feedback or negative support that kept you from moving forward and finishing it? Something I spoke on the podcast about is negativity bias, and that's where our brain purposely focuses on the negative first before focusing on the positive. We latch onto those negative feelings, those negative associations, those negative thoughts. So we need to trick our brain to stop thinking like that in order to move forward. Was this project maybe part of a habit loop that you didn't realize you had, which is something else I spoke about in the series? Maybe you're self-sabotaging yourself without realizing it.

[00:03:22] Do you have a clear idea of what success looks like for those projects or maybe any other projects that you might have? If you're telling yourself you don't have time to do this project, that means it is not a priority for you. Was this project really a priority to begin with, or was it somebody else's priority that was thrust upon you? Maybe you have a day job and you need to finish this project, but it wasn't your project. It's something maybe a coworker or your boss didn't finish and now they're pushing it onto you to finish, so you're not motivated to finish it. Success is different for everybody. So make sure you're defining success on your terms and not anybody else's.

[00:04:01] Take your list of projects and define what success of those really means. Focus on your whys. Focus on why you need to complete that project or why you want to complete that project. One of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is what do we want? And when you ask yourself this question, use your own name. So for me, I would say, what does Mehvish want? What does Mehvish want from this project? What does success for this project look like, Mehvish. Ask yourself these questions and be sure to use your name because your brain starts thinking about things a little bit differently when you use your own name versus when you just say, 'What do I want from this project? What do I see a success for this project?'.

[00:04:47] Something which helped me visualize success is called the Be Do Have method. So you may have heard of this method before. I will definitely leave some links on the blog as well, but you might have heard of it through a book called "The Master Key System" by Charles Haanal or "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, I'll leave some other resources on the blog, too. There's actually a great interview between Terry Crews, who is on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, which is one of my favorite shows ever. But Terry Crews did a interview with Tim Ferriss for his podcast and he talked about the Master Key System a little bit and the Be Do Have method, which is really great and I'll link to some other articles as well. So when you think about success, sometimes you need to visualize it a little bit differently in order to get the idea to click in your brain. And this is something that the Be Do Have method really helped me with.

[00:05:39] Now, I want to spend a couple of moments talking about the habit loop. So the habit loop is something that I spoke about a couple of episodes ago as part of this goal setting series and basically, it's the idea that within habits there's a loop of that. We have a cue for the habit. We have a routine, which is what we do when we have that cue triggered, and then we have a reward for that habit. So one reasons why people can't change their habits or shift their habits is because they keep trying to change the cue for the habit when they really need to change the routine, because the cue, that trigger, we all have for our habits, whether they're good or bad, the routine is what we do next. So those triggers aren't going to go away. We're always going to have some kind of trigger out there. But if we change the routine, that's where true habits can start to change.

[00:06:27] So if you think of something simple like taking out the garbage, the cue for that would be that the garbage is full. The routine would be that you take the garbage out to the trash cans or the trash chute, and then the reward would be having a clean smelling kitchen and a fresh, odorless trash bag. So cue, routine, and reward are the three steps in the habit loop. And it's a loop because it keeps going around. Now, let's think about this in the sense of writing. So we have a cue. Say we're frustrated with a scene we're writing. I talked about on the podcast thtat the original routine was that we would force ourselves through the scene and the reward was that we would have written for an hour and felt accomplished. But was that a good definition of success? We need something more concrete in order to truly succeed.

[00:07:15] So this is where the Be Do Have technique or method comes into play. So Stephen Covey, who is a well-known productivity expert, he also shared this as well in addition to those other resources I mentioned. So think about these three terms, be do and have. BE - Who do I need to be in order to have the success I want? For example, if you want to become a sustainable full time author, writing one book a year may not make that happen. So maybe that means you need to become someone who writes more or becomes much more well-versed in online marketing and online ads in order to maximize the one book a year you are writing.

[00:07:55] The second word DO - what do you need to do or what do you want to do in the future? If you want to become someone who writes more, what do you need to do in order to make that happen? Do you budget twice as much time to writing? Do you create a dedicated workspace in your home so that you can write whenever creativity strikes you?

[00:08:15] And let's think about that third word HAVE - What do you need to have or what do you want to have? Maybe to budget an extra hour of writing. You need to give up 30 minutes of social media time and another 30 minutes of, say, cooking time so that means you order in one day a week. Maybe to create a dedicated workspace you need to buy a desk or even just a lap desk that you can use in your favorite chair.

[00:08:39] Here's a quote from another article linked on the blog from LinkedIn: "It is not what do I need to have before I can start or what work do I need to do, but who do I need to be? What kind of person would have access to the outcomes I want? Then being that kind of person, what would I be doing?" So you need to visualize yourself as that person that you want to be. Now, some of this gets into the idea of, say, scarcity versus abundance, and what you think you deserve versus what you think you can have. Things like that, which I'll get into in the future sometime on another podcast episode. But in order to really think about success - and this is what really changed the game for me - is that I really started imagining what kind of person do I really want to be? Where do I see my author career going? Where do I see my personal life going? What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of author do I want to be?

[00:09:35] Okay, that's take the author portion. I want to be a sustainable, full time author. That means I need to pay off my debts. I need to get a savings plan. I need to get an independent retirement and benefit plan. I need to be financially prepared in order to make that happen. I need to have systems and automations in place to help me as I transition from having that full time, with benefits and everything, to working for myself full time. So, okay, if that's who I want to be, what do I need to do in order to get there? So that's who I want to be is that sustainable full time author, and that's what I need to do in order to get there is get my finances in order. So what do I need to have? Well, I need to have some more knowledge about maybe investing, about financial planning, about how to manage retirement and benefits as basically a freelancer or an independent business owner, because that's what you become when you're a full time author on your own, is you basically become your own boss. So that's what I want to be. That's what I need to do in order to become that person. And in order to do those things, I need to have this other piece, this knowledge. In the example I just gave, in order to become financially independent, I need to think in the vein of someone who has more money, who is well-versed on all things financial.

[00:11:01] And it's not just thinking about what do you need to have in order to do, in order to become, the person that you want to be or that goal that you have. But you also need to think about, well, how does that person act in order to become who I want to be? How are those people acting? So how do sustainable full time authors act while they publish books? They do consistent marketing. They do reader engagement. They do any number of things. And they are really smart with their money. So I need to think in the mindset of someone who is already a sustainable full time author, someone who is already writing full time, who doesn't have the day job and things like that.

[00:11:43] Now I am managing the day job. It doesn't mean I forget I have a day job. It doesn't mean I forget my other responsibilities. It just gives me a new way to visualize what it is that I really want and figure out a way to get there. So this idea of just think about who do you want to be, visualize being that person, and think about what do I need to do in order to become that person and what else do I need to have in order to become that person. This doesn't mean you're giving up any part of yourself. You're just visualizing the goal that you want for your life and you're visualizing the different goals that you might have for other aspects of your life too.

[00:12:21] If you have personal goals and maybe you don't want to write full time, which is completely okay, you just want to be a steady part time author. You want to have some additional income coming in, but you don't want to do it full time, which is also completely okay. So then you need to visualize - Okay, for a part time author, what do I need to do and what do I need to have in order to become a part time author with steady income? Because who those people are are going to look different. How you approach being a full time author, it's going to look different than being a part time author while also having and managing a day job.

[00:12:57] So this Be Do Have method can be a really great way to think about what you really see and what you really want a success, and then also visualize how to get there. Think about what do you need to do in order to become that person and what else do you need to have in order to become that person.

[00:13:16] Now I want to hear from you. Let me know how the Be Do Have method have method applies to something in your life. Please head to the blog or join our community on Facebook to let me know, the link's in the show notes. I'd also be very grateful if he could leave a review for this podcast wherever you'd like to listen. Thank you.

[00:14:09] Thank you for listening to this episode. Check out the show notes for links to my blog and our community where you can get involved in the discussion and support others. While you're there, don't forget to sign up for my newsletter to get to free and powerful tools to help you. One: access to my growing library of free resources for authors; and Two: you'll also get access to my exclusive writing challenge "How to Write Faster in 14 Days" where I share all my tips and techniques that helped me finish over 20 works in five years. Check out the show notes for all the links and thanks again for being part of this community.

M. Khan

M. Khan, host of the Inside the Writer's Soul podcast, has authored over 20 novels/novellas/short stories under a pen name, and is now writing under her own name as well. She loves to explore creativity in different ways to share soulful (and sometimes sweary) stories, and provides guidance, coaching, and courses to authors.
Defining What You Need for Success

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